Episode 0: The old goblin, seven little goblins and a big bard

Episode 0: The old goblin, seven little goblins and a big bard

“And these are just some of the adventures I’ve lived to become what I am!” the old goblin raised his walking cane in the air, shaking it vigorously “The greatest goblin the world has ever had!”

Around him, sitting on the ground, seven little goblins and an enormous ogre bard were listening very carefully, captivated by the words of the old goblin sitting on a wooden box.

 

That old goblin dressed in rags seemed to know more that it would seem!

 

<Gramps, but if you lived all of these adventures, why are you poor as a church mouse and not rich like uncle Goldtooth?>> said one of the little goblins pulling his beard <Eh?> Why?>

<Don’t mention that son of an elf in front of me !> said the old goblin , grabbing his beard and putting it on his shoulders like a scarf <I lived far more adventures than that wimp Goldtooth!>

<But he is now leader of the spies of King Mulfo III> said another small goblin <And he has many titles> added a third goblin <Like, “The Wavetamer“>

<That’s just because he can swim! I can do it too! >> the old goblin replied grumpily.>

<“The Tireless Warrior“?>>

<anyone can hide until the battle is over and take credit for the victory >>

<“He who speaks with the Dragons“?>>

<Lizards are not dragons! He sure talks to them, but they ain’t answering back! >>

<“The Soother of Volcanoes“?>>

<Just a simple coincidence: he screamed, and the earth around him accidentally stopped shaking and the volcano didn’t erupt! JUST COINCIDENCES! >>

 

That damned Goldtooth, he thinks he’s better than me!

 

Silence fell on the little group.

 

<Den you do demonstrates dat you was de right> said the ogre dipping a feather in a tiny inkwell <You do de tell of what you lived in your long life!>

<I’m so old and I have so many stories to tell that I would die before finishing! And I’m already thirty-five!> shouted the old goblin while beating the bard on the head with his cane.

<Come on gramps! Tell us more stories!> the little goblins screamed in chorus.

<If you do de tell, me make de write, den make me de sing with me bagpipe and we make money!> Added the ogre, caressing his bagpipe.

<So that’s how you put it, eh?> The old goblin crossed his hands on the cane, then, he pointed at the bard <Burk, light a fire. I’ll have a lot to tell tonight>

 

Shortly after the fire was ready and the dinner was consumed, the little goblins sat in a circle around the fire, leaving the big ogre just outside the circle, using his backpack as a makeshift desk. Everyone was ready to hear the words of the veteran goblin.

 

<My real name> said the old goblin <is Jaw, son of Squee, but all my companions called me Bones, because of my habit of eating the left over bones from other people’s dinners. I was born in a cave, on another plane of existence, stuff that I don’t even wanna explain to you right now, and I am the seventh son of my father, seventh son in his turn. In my long life I have traveled about seventy different dimensions, from the highest peaks of Paradise to the lowest angle of the Abyss. I made several friends along the way: the angels call me Thief, the devils as well and so do the members of the Githyanki race. And some of them should even call me daddy!

The ones I’m going to tell you are not stories like the ones Uncle Karn and his boar, Sausage, can tell you. No, these are episodes of life that I experienced firsthand, and are also what allowed me to get here, at this point in my life. If you are interested in knowing where my treasure ended up, because there is one, listen to me until the end, in these last years of my life >

<But gramps, why do you say it’s your last years of life? Except for the beard, which I don’t understand why you don’t shave, you’re still in good shape> said one of the small goblins.

<I am the first goblin who gets to this age, so shut up and listen!>

 

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